Now skeptics are quick to dismiss the process and the Law of Attraction when it doesn’t work for them, but more than likely they weren’t truly open, or willing to actually do the work.
Think about it. If manifesting your soulmate was as easy as just making a list of everything you want in a person, then everyone would be walking around coupled up, living their happily ever after.
Sure, knowing what you want is a huge part of it, but first you need to consider where you are mindset-wise, and how you’re vibrating energetically. Because you have to actually prepare for your soulmate, before you ever start writing your list.
Things to Do Before Writing Your Soulmate List
Even when we claim that we want something, our thoughts and beliefs often work against us. So while you might say that you’re ready for your soulmate, are you actually in alignment with attracting them?
Do you have negative beliefs about how hard it is to find “your person” or difficult dating is? Do you have scarcity thoughts like there aren’t any good ones left? If so, then you have to soothe yourself into the knowing that anyone else’s, or even everyone else’s, experience doesn’t have to be yours.
Are you lonely? Does it hurt when you see your friends getting engaged or married and wonder if, and when, it’ll happen for you? If so, then your “work” is to find a way to be happy right now, by yourself.
So many people sit around waiting for love to find them so that they can ‘finally’ start living. But that’s precisely the behavior that can keep them away.
You need to be whole already, as opposed to looking for someone to complete you. So take the trip. Learn the language. Go back to school. Adopt a pet that you can shower with love. You need to cultivate a life that is so rewarding and fulfilling that you don’t even notice that your soulmate isn’t there. And as soon as you get to the point where you feel like nothing’s missing, you’ll have everything.
That aside, do you truly love, or even like, yourself? Do you feel deserving of someone with all of the amazing qualities you desire? If you answered no to either of those questions, then your self love could use some very necessary refining.
To quote Abraham Hicks, “People like you as much as you like you.”
Lastly, are you sure you’re even ready for this relationship? Deep down, is a part of you resistant for any reason? Do you worry about losing your independence, for example? Is there something in the back of your mind that you’d like to accomplish before you settle down?
My point is, for this to be effective, you have to do the requisite soul searching, before you ever write your soulmate list.
How to Write a Soulmate List
The first time I wrote my soulmate list, it was literally a list of his ideal characteristics. Although I carefully considered each one, visualizing as I jotted them down, in hindsight I felt like the process should have included a more comprehensive picture of our life together.
With that in mind, the second time, “my list” was more of a story. While I still included all of the qualities I desired, I also wrote descriptive details about why I wanted each attribute, and how he, and being loved by him, made me feel.
I didn’t include any physical traits though. Since I had included mutual, sexual attraction and compatibility on the list, I was open to whatever package the Universe brought it to me in. And boy did it deliver!
Of course, some days I joke around based on my boo’s behavior, that I obviously left some things off of my list. But, in all honesty, he’s perfect for me.
So do whatever feels right for you, because it’s your belief in the process and subsequent feelings, that’ll bring about results.
Some people start with their exes.
Chances are you’ve kissed enough frogs to be able to easily write a soulmate list to find your prince. Even though those relationships ended, there were still reasons you were attracted to, and with them, for a period of time.
Reflect on your happiest memories and what made them so wonderful. What did you appreciate most about that person? What attributes did you find attractive or complementary to yours?
If you prefer to go another route, simply think about the qualities, values and interests you want in a partner, and just as importantly, how each one makes you feel.
Below are some questions, in no particular order, to help you craft a complete soulmate list. Some of these may be of no, or minimal, importance to you. They’re just meant to guide you toward the specifics that do matter, so that you remember to include them.
Be sure to use words and language that resonate with you.
Is it important that you share the same hobbies and interests? Political views? Race? Ethnicity? Religious practice?
What do you do together in your downtime?
Do age or height matter to you? If so, include it, along with a range.
What type of personality do they have? Funny? Witty? Playful? Charismatic? Serious? Goofy? Nerdy?
Are they kind? Thoughtful? Generous? Respectful? Supportive? If so, in what ways?
Do you envision someone who’s romantic? Chivalrous? Affectionate? Patient?
Are traits like loyalty and honesty important to you?
Does it matter if they’re an introvert or extrovert?
Are they stylish? Sexy? Artsy? Creative? An avid reader? A great conversationalist? An effective communicator? Emotionally available?
Is it a must that they love dogs, or any other animal? Traveling? Art? The great outdoors? Indie films?
What’s their sexual appetite like?
How do they resolve conflict?
What type of lifestyle do the two of you lead?
Is it important to you that they be a particular zodiac element or sign?
What type of schedule do they have? Are they an entrepreneur ? 9 to 5er? Side hustler? Workaholic?
Are they financially responsible?
What are their habits around, and attitude toward, money?
Does security matter to you? If so, in what ways?
What’s their health like mentally, emotionally and physically?
How do they feel about children? Do they have any? Want some? Love them? Are they indifferent to kids?
What types of relationships do they have with their family? Friends? Exes?
Who does the cooking? Cleaning?
Is it important that they share in the household responsibilities?
Are they messy? Organized? OCD?
Are they more of a go-with-the-flow type or a detailed planner?
Remember to include the seemingly obvious.
Even things that are a given to you, need to be explicitly stated on your list, as long as they’re important. For example, unless you intend to be a sidepiece, include that they’re single. Unless you’re fine with a long distance relationship, specify that they’re located in, or around, your city. If sexual orientation or gender identity matter, then be clear about it. If it’s important that they be monogamous and/or marriage-minded, include that as well as language around longevity.
Keep the list positive and don’t worry about the length.
The first time I created my soulmate list, it was two pages long, and I got, for better or worse, exactly what I had asked for. So don’t feel obligated to edit yours down to something you think the Universe can “handle.”
End it with, “Thank you” because it’s already done, in addition to some version of the phrase, “This or something better now manifests for me” which makes allowances for Infinite Intelligence, who knows all things best.
Things to Do After Writing Your Soulmate List
Let your imagination run wild and all of the feels wash over you as you read over your list to ensure you covered everything intended. Make any final tweaks, then let it go.
There’s no need to revisit your list after that. And definitely don’t make a habit of talking about it, especially to your dates.
Feel free to look forward to your soulmate coming with excited expectation, but release any attachment to how and when they’ll show up. And don’t do anything you don’t feel inspired to, under the guise of trying to “help” the Universe.
It typically happens how and when you least expect it anyway, so trust Source to handle the details.
Just go on living your same wonderful life, radiating the love that you desire, and your soulmate will be placed on your path, unable to resist your charms.